I prolonged going back to work as long as I could with my 6-week convalescence and another almost month of saved up vacation time. But the best decision of all… we saved my husband’s paternity leave–roughly two weeks offered by his job–until after my time was up.
This allowed me to continue breastfeeding in the middle of the day when they would visit me at work. Sure, I pumped when I could, but getting to nurse midday was mentally and physically beneficial for Mom and Baby.
Meal planning is probably the most important, most frustrating and maybe most controversial part of divvying up the household duties. It is also time consuming, frustrating, but ultimately gratifying (when it works).
For more than a year now, we’ve relied on fresh produce to determine our menu, for the most part. I don’t say this to be coy or cute, but we began receiving a weekly co-op basket of pre-selected fruits and vegetables delivered to a local drop-off station. We use http://www.bountifulbaskets.org for our weekly contribution.
This wound up being one of the best decisions we made in terms of simplifying meal planning. It may sound flipped to wait until you have groceries to decide what’s on the menu, but it works well for us. Once we collect our baskets Saturday mornings, we inventory our take and decide what pantry, freezer or refrigerator items will complement the produce. There are often a few odds and ends we’ve never encountered, and these usually get left for a week or we visit Chef Google for a recipe inspiration. Let me be frank, I don’t like using recipes verbatim. I tend to view recipes as an idea starter… this is probably why I’m not the best baker; I consider cooking and art and baking a science, and I prefer to color outside the lines, rather than use test tubes and beakers, if you catch my drift.
One week, we received beets, an item we rarely eat and had, up until that time, not prepared for a meal at home. So, they went two weeks before we touched them. The following week, we received rainbow chard; same story here… never used the stuff in a dish before. However, after staring at the bulky items taking up valuable fridge space, Chef Google came through with this recipe inspiration: http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Swiss-Chard-with-Beets-Goat-Cheese-and-Raisins-233410. We picked up crumbled goat cheese and used dried cranberries instead of raisins (since there were plenty left over from holiday baking) and used a canned tomato and pepper blend in addition to some fresh jalapeños also taking up bin space. The dish was bright red and scary looking! But, it was one of the best tasting dishes we’d put together in a while. It was also quick and easy, and it helped us clear items from both the pantry and fridge.
Another area that helps us with meal planning–the on-sale or good deal meat selections. We purchase ground beef or chicken breasts on sale and then cook the entire package within a day or two of bringing it home, regardless of whether or nt we know what we will use it for. For instance, we found ground beef on sale for about half the normal per pins price, brought it home and sautéed it with garlic, diced onion (from the basket), salt and pepper. Then, we froze the pre-cooked blend in one-pound bags for later use. We ended up making last-minute quesadillas out of one package, and they were delicious without a ton of fuss. Additionally, we found a package of chicken breast on sale (roughly half the normal price), brought it home and pan seared the entire package. Then, we cubed the meat and put it in the fridge. The rest of the week’s menu ended up being chicken fried rice, chicken tortilla soup and BBQ chicken sandwiches–all quick and easy with the help of the prepared meat. I should also note that I cook rice once in a while in large batches as well. It goes in the rice cooker, then I freeze it into usable portions. This is what we used for the fried rice meal. Each of these dishes capitalized on whatever fruits and vegetables and other items we had on hand.
Our meal planning doesn’t involve any huge prep in terms of shopping lists or the like, but it still seems to work for our busy lifestyle. We aren’t forced to grab something from the drive-thru (although we still sometimes do), so we save money, time, effort and calories when we can with this method (if you can call it that).
I’m laughing quite hysterically at the moment (well, in silence so as not to wake the baby!) because I started this post and promptly had to abandon it for mom duty.
But, while starting the post via smartphone, I was also pumping, also cooing at the baby in his swing, and also playing fetch with the dog (we have yet to establish a “no ball throwing” rule in our house).
There are many opinions on how attentive moms should be and what level of multitasking is appropriate. None of those opinions really interest me. If it has to be done, and I’m the one to do it, it may take some multitasking.
All that said, some of my better multitasking is snuggling with the baby while napping on the couch and dreaming about my checklists and calendars. 🙂
Look, it will happen easily at times, but sometimes it won’t be possible to multitask. I had to learn to own the moment and not get too frustrated that I couldn’t do everything right that second.
Hubby and I were talking the other day and decided that in the months leading up to welcoming our little one, and the initial weeks of his arrival, we managed more “life hacks” than we could’ve imagined.
I felt like my/our best hacks involved learning how to embrace the domestic side–a side we previously claimed didn’t exist. Early in the year, as part of my idea to embrace homemaking for frugal reasons (more on that in another post), I decided to visit Pinterest for some ideas. I mean, Pinterest is full of homemaking life hacks, right?
I decided to use the year to make some handmade Christmas gifts. I found recipes for soap (too involved), lip balm (big win overall), fabric coffee sleeves and a few other ideas.
By the end of the year, and after an early arrival by our little one, I ended up using another site (Etsy) to buy handmade soaps and the coffee sleeves after breaking too many needles on my sewing machine trying to make the sleeves myself. However, I made foot/bath salts, effervescent shower pucks, alcohol-free hand sanitizer and lip balm to share with my family.
All that said, it is super easy to make some of these things, and I was able to support homemaking entrepreneurs when my time and patience ran thin.
These were my inspiration pages or vendors’ pages for homemade goods:
Homemade hand sanitizer: http://pinterest.com/pin/429671620670958577/
Homemade shower pucks: http://pinterest.com/pin/429671620673585884/
Homemade lip balm: http://pinterest.com/pin/429671620671834024/
Coffee sleeves: https://www.etsy.com/listing/191469692/reversible-coffee-cozycoffee-sleeve
Handmade soaps: https://www.etsy.com/listing/198645481/homemade-soap-soap-loaf-ends-natural
I chose these items to try my homemaking hand at since they seemed simple enough. As you can see, some worked, and some just didn’t fit my schedule or patience. This helped me gain some confidence in knowing Pinterest isn’t off limits for a working mom, but understanding that it won’t always go as I want it to when I start a project.
You’ll find any number of lists out there with items new moms “must have.” I found plenty of these lists when I was pregnant, but I found a few things lacking from those lists.
Of course you need a crib, a car seat, a stroller and such, but some items seemed frivolous to me. That’s when I called on my network of other working moms to see what really was a good idea to have, and what really did need to stay in the stores rather than add to the mountain of baby gear clogging my house!
One I didn’t believe was the stuffed animal pacifier. The one we nabbed? The wubbanub (affiliate link): http://amzn.to/1IERHgB
Sure, I planned to be the “no pacifiers” mom… right up until my preemie arrived, and right up until my ears wouldn’t stop ringing as he cried his hungry way through his pre-nursing diaper change. My little one ended up not wanting a pacifier “just because,” and only when he was hungry but couldn’t get immediately to nursing or the bottle. The wubbanub at udders animal helped balance and weight the pacifier to help my still developing baby keep it in his mouth, and as was mentioned by a fellow working mom… they are so muche easier to find when the fall or get dropped, whether that’s in the house, in the car or otherwise on the go. The bonus for these? The stuffed animal my little one was able to hug close.
Speaking of feeding time… I’ll have to return to add more “must haves” at another time. For now, it’s meal time for my little guy. 🙂
Ok, back to business…
Regarding strollers and car seats, there are any number of right answers for this. We decided we wanted as little gear as possible, so we selected items with as many uses as possible or with interoperability. Working in a fitness-oriented field, it was important for me to have a jogging stroller, so we picked a Graco travel system similar to this one (affiliate link): http://amzn.to/1xVqVPu because it had the seat that when attached to the toddler jogging stroller eliminated the need for two different types of strollers. That said, we were also gifted a car seat carrier that made our car seat and stroller set up more grocery store friendly. A car seat carrier similar to our can be found here (affiliate link): http://amzn.to/1BdoNUu
We chose a reasonably priced system that received great reviews overall, and honestly didn’t see the need to pay a used-car price for our stroller/s or travel set up for our little one.
Another one that varies fe pending on who you ask… the play pen or pack-n-play type item. I was resistant since I figured the house isn’t so big that I needed two spots for my baby to use, and I didn’t think I’d want to carry around anything bulky on the go. Then, I had my little one, and while he was in the NICU, I decided it’d be nice to have a place for him in the main side of the house. I found a deal on one of the Graco Pack ‘N Plays with a couple of extra attachments like a changing pad and a vibrating bassinet. During those first several weeks home, this ended up being invaluable. Our little one could snooze in the bassinet between feedings, which left me free to nap (rarely could I settle my mind and reconcile with my checklists, but I always intended to nap), wash bottles or catch up on any number of other things like laundry! Having the changing pad right in the center of that cycle also helped save valuable time and effort when my energy was flagging. This version is similar in style, though a different color scheme than the one we picked (affiliate link): http://amzn.to/1DbJyi9. We haven’t taken it on the road yet, but when/if we do, I’ll update this post.
On the subject of batteries… I read article after article saying certain gear used too many batteries or went through them too quickly. This all may be true, but we tried to save the heartache and stocked up on batteries ahead of time. We bought large packages of C-sized (affiliate links): http://amzn.to/1H2tZ2d; D-sized: http://amzn.to/15MYWXM; and even the more routinely used AA-sized: http://amzn.to/1uV086J; and AAA-sized: http://amzn.to/1y15YPC. We didn’t know what items might need them or what size they might need, so we made the investment early to dissuade our own frustrations later when the baby might be crying and his (perhaps favorite) bouncer needed juice.
Another bit of sound advice I received before baby arrived was that if I thought I might need or want something down the road, it would be much easier to research it early and put it in my Amazon shopping cart for quick delivery when I didn’t have time to fret over research and shopping. This was especially true for mom gear. There are so many options out there, and different people like different comforts after delivering a baby–this can include nursing and pumping items to wipes and diapers for baby…but, you don’t have to commit early to everything if you’re strapped for funds or space provided you can get what you need fairly quickly after getting home from the hospital.
Regarding baby monitors, we were quite overwhelmed. There are so many styles and configurations–with video, without video, with sleep pad, without sleep pad, two-way voice, one-way voice, etc. However, none of the traditional types gave us the same information or “warm fuzzy” feeling as the data we were able to receive while baby was in the NICU. Then, I discovered the Snuza Go! (affiliate link): http://amzn.to/1JMMgP2. This device clips to our baby’s diaper and monitors his movement. If the baby stops moving for a period of time, the alarm sounds on this device to both give the baby a reminder or parents an alert that something might nt be right. This device is small and can be taken anywhere the baby is taken which made it much more appealing to us. Having this gave us a bit more peace of mind when putting our little guy to bed.
Admittedly, at the six-week point, I was no where near ready to go back to work…
…so, I didn’t. I had enough vacation time banked to take another four weeks.
The last day of my authorized paid leave (the first six weeks) of absence was probably the longest of all. Hubby was finally succumbing to the sleeplessness and coming down with a cold, which left me to tackle every single baby task on my own. I know many moms probably do this day in and day out, but hubby and I had a pretty good shared system, and having to take his turns was a lot more overwhelming than I anticipated. Our little one was entering a growth spurt, and his feedings we’re advancing from once every few hours to about every hour and half. Since I was also caring for a terminally ill pet and pumping around the clock to stockpile for my eventual return to work, this left only a minute or two between feedings to sit still and recover. I needed a nap!
Everyone says you don’t get sleep with a new baby or they say sleep when baby sleeps, but seriously… Who ever tells you what really happens between feedings that WILL consume your day? No one, really. One doesn’t just snap her fingers and change a diaper, warm a bottle, kick the laundry behind the laundry room door, load the dishwasher, wash the endless bottles, express a new round of milk or anything else… It all adds up, and it all pulls you away from any semblance of restful sleep.
As another example, lunch one afternoon consisted only of a plate full of cucumbers, bell peppers and broccoli because we certainly didn’t have the time or energy to cook anything, and prepping the vegetables was all we could muster. Delicious? Yes. Protein-packed and filling? Not as much as we might’ve needed. But, eating at all? That made it into the “win” column.
So… Sleep? It’ll most likely happen when you literally can’t move another muscle. Now, to throw in work to that mix. I haven’t decided if work helps more or hurts more, yet.
When I wasn’t getting sleep, I became reacquainted with late-night TV until my mind felt numb. It was about this point my fellow mom friends mentioned some of their tips and tricks for staying sane during the wee hours of nursing and baby care. I completely forgot about my access to streaming content via my Amazon Prime account until this time. Once I realized I could binge watch several seasons of TV shows I’d been meaning to see or catch a movie, my empty DVR queue didn’t seem so grim.
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Preparing to have a baby also including significant planning at work in order to be out of the office for 6-10 weeks. {A paid six weeks is standard for my organization, but I was hoping for 10 weeks to maximize my time settling into my new role after properly healing from the ordeal of child birth.}
I kept telling everyone my little one was going to arrive early. I had in mind he’d arrive a month early (since I was about that early for my mom). Otherwise, I had no real reason for anticipating an early birth outside of IVF statistics (more on that another time).
Regardless, after a particularly long day of preparing a few Thanksgiving turkeys for two shifts of workers at my husband’s job, I apparently pushed myself into an even earlier labor than I expected at 33 weeks and 3 days. (I had a fantastic holiday with his team, but three days later we welcomed a preemie!)
So the preparation? I spent the months prior to my delivery divvying up certain subjects and accounts among my staff, but asked them to each take ownership beginning in December (the month prior to my due date). This was to allow us time to overlap before my personally anticipated early delivery… Haha… We didn’t get the overlap, but at least they were fairly prepared to take over the tasks. 🙂
They were all surprised to arrive at work with a message the baby had arrived, and then a few hours later see me in the office. I had to update my email message to those contacting me and file the personnel paperwork to be out for six weeks. Don’t worry, I didn’t stay long… after all, my preemie was in the NICU, and I desperately needed more time with him.
Homemaking For Working Moms 